[RP Episode][CANON] Go bab or go home


Not long after Kleriel and Danheim vowed to each other to stay out of eachother’s hair and the pact was made, that a young Keelish adult decided to take a once in a lifetime opportunity to make it up to his family. Make up for what? I hear you asking, valiant reader. Well…

A mere month ago…

‘‘GREAT DISHONOUR!!!’’ shouted the lad’s father.
’‘I CAN’T EVEN SHOW MY FACE WITHOUT GETTING UNPLEASANT STARES BECAUSE OF YOU!’’ continued mother, as the father quietly puffed smoke from his herbal stick with a great shadow upon his angry brow.

The young lad, ever so confident and cunning, thought he could get twice the prize if he played it right. With what or whom you may ask? Well…

The day before…

There he was, looking dashing as ever, he outdid himself this time, just for her. He was sat in a corner bench awaiting the love of his life, or that was what he called her. Then she came, the daughter of a noble to whom vanity was all the import. She took long prideful strides towards him in her fancy dress, only to get her swept off her feet by him and ending up in his lap when she reached the table.

‘‘OH! You savage!’’ she exclaimed with a giggle in her voice.

It was at that moment that another girl made it down the stairs of the tavern, who apparently knew the lad, and had… close relations with him as well. Nether knows what and why just now she was here, but there she was. And she did not look happy.

She marched over to the couple in great fury, but it was only when she was right in front of them when they noticed her.

‘‘Who’s this!?’’ she hissed.
The poor lad, sweating badly and practically frozen, didn’t know what to do or what to say, which is why he made his next mistake, and replied.
’‘This? Nobody!’’


And the lass barged out the front door of the tavern, leaving only her hand print on the boy’s face.

‘‘Who was that!?!?’’ asked his ‘‘beloved’’ as she got up from his lap, looking damn furious as well.
’‘Who?’’ he asked, probably still unsure of himself and his surroundings. And…


There was the second hand print to mirror the first, and out the girl went, same as the first.

Soon enough, the whole town knew… including the lad’s parents.

Jumping forward a bit…


Nope, even further than that, we were there already…

Right, after Kleriel and Danheim made a pact and opened trade. THIS was the lads opportunity to make up for his mistakes, to redeem his family name, and to earn back his honour! His plan was daring, with very little chances of success, but he thought he had nothing to loose anyways.

Lucky for him, his parents were well-off merchants, so they could cover any of his ■■■■ ups if need be, buuuuut that’s not important, moving on…

His plan was to go to Danheim and open its very first KEBAB PARLOUR! He had heard that Bab is an unknown delight to them, and felt the need to enlighten them with such a blessing.

As a secondary objective of course, his own selfish reasons come first…

So he booked passage to Danheim on a ship, paid for by… no, i said that isn’t important… and began his climb to redemption!



Neeko came on-board ready to set sail! adventure glory honor and fortune await for the young man, atlas the boat ride was plain nothing happened, he did have the time to speak with some of his fellow travelers trying to get more information out of them about Danheim and the Danheimers, and he had plenty of time for tea.

Once the boat ride came a stop, the young fine lad looked upon what was now gonna be his new home. Where he would amass riches and honor to the his family! but mostly riches for himself, Danheim was strange for the young lad nothing like what was back home, but it was the nation where everything was for sale if you got it you can sell it, if you want it you can buy it now was the time to bring bab to the nation. Neeko made his way to the Drunken Boar, clearly the inn and tavern at the port would be the place to start and maybe he would be able to rent a room for a few nights, it was only around ten and the boar was already fairly packed, he mowed his way to the bar counter, trying to holla at the staff


‘‘Innkeep! Innkeep!’’ he shouted out loud in a fake deep but actually a cringy young man’s voice while he bashed his fist of his fragile thin arm on the counter like a wimp.

When the inkeep finally decided to check out what all the commotion was about, after a waitress had to go fetch him because he couldn’t hear the little whiner over all the real men talk of the place, he had been presented with an interesting proposal.

‘‘BAB!’’ shouted Neeko.
’‘I will make kebaaaaaaaaab for you! And if it picks up, you charge me no rent for my stay here. Deal?’’


The large and in charge inkeeper looked at Neeko, " Its three Coins a night, and if your looking for a job i need a new dishwasher boy" he said while cleaning a glass. Now our dear Neeko had to find a way to break the deal again to the inkeeper but out of everyone here he were a mer kid, small in statuer light in voice and clearly not able to out drink any one, it was time to be clever


‘‘Oh, im sorry, i must have forgotten that i was in the drunken boar. Here people have never eaten anything else but burned carcasses and wouldn’t know a good meal if it hit them in the face. My sincerest apologies.’’ he teased the inkeep. ‘‘Oh where shall i find a willing businessman who would try my master recipe…’’ he sighed out loud.


The inkeeper looked at the young lad
" We serve good food here but if you want a cook off i accept your chancellery young man tomorrow at noon, here don’t be late!" he said as the placed the cup down " HEAR YE HEAR YE! this young kleriel just issued a challenge for a cook off! so tomorrow we will feast!" he yelled out loud in the in boar, which made everyone cheer


‘‘Cook off?!’’ he gulped. ‘‘Uh… yes, of course. Very well!’’ he exclaimed as he slammed 3 gold coins on to the counter. ‘‘Three coins a night, right?’’

And with that, he awaited the next day…


Morning arose over Danheim, the streets started to buzz with life yet again even tho it never were calm at night
our young stabbing lad awoke from his slumber ready to start the day a new and most importen getting ready for the cook off, it was today the day of bab


Neeko opened his satchel in which he had all he needed to prepare the best bab ever babbed. He had collected the best herbs and vegetables he could find in Haru’Bare, and the juiciest meat to grind in all of Kesada.

Even though he already knew the entire recipe out of his head, he still took the time to triple check that he knew absolutely everything. When these nords try his bab, they will surely babscend in to babhalla when they die of its tastiness, and afterwards, even their gods will rename their heavenly city to Babgard! Or so he told himself out of excitement at least…

He then collected himself and headed downstairs.


As our young stabbing hero ventured down stairs, he could smell the keeper of the inn were already starting
and soon after he could hear the inn were boosting with people awaiting their feast already drinking abut awaiting the feast. He walked behid the bar and into the kitchen area, the large and in charge keeper of inn were prepping a whole boar, humming while he did it " Get to work time is running and these folk are hungry young Kleriel" he said in a deep voice nearly mocking him. Neeko looked at the kitchen area it was not what he was used to but it would have to do.


Making due with the unsophisticated and almost primitive cooking utensils and … ‘‘devices’’, he made ready for his greatest undertaking yet. Lucky for him, he had brought his own tools, and he just had to be happy with the grill the kitchen had.

He placed his fresh lamb meat on the table and began cutting it up in to a mesh. The meat was very slippery to work with, so he had to be careful not to cut himself. Then, he tipped the mince in to a large bowl, added spices, garlic, seasoning, and mixed it with his hands until it were all smooth. He turned the meat out of the tin and sliced the kebab length ways into thin strips and grilled them slowly and steadily. Then he opened up his pre-made pitta to create a pocket and pile in the salad ingredients, meat, sauce and yoghurt,

He had amassed enough kebabs until he could fill a tray, and brought it before the inkeep with a smile.


The keep of the Inn had finished his boar, the smell of pig and honey was in the air and it was smelling good really good but the eyes on the keep of the inn were wide when he saw what was in the tray which our young strapping lad Neeko has made. He moved in for a small sniff then moved back “Sure thats enough young kleriel? it smells good but theres not alot” he said as he bellow a laugh


Irritated, he replied mockingly.

‘‘I only brought so much lamb with me for the recipe. And as you have nothing else but boar in your whole entire nation, this is all i could make.’’


" we got bears wolfs pigs boars drakes fish cows and lam, this is Danheim not some starving nation. But the people shall speak what they like the most" he replied back abit angry " HEAR YE HEAR YE! both dishes are ready, first come first served! and remember to fill out the card out, you lazy scums" he shouted out in the inn, after that people started to line up to get a hold of a dish


As there weren’t nearly enough kebabs for everyone to try, a minor dispute broke out.

‘‘Why aren’t there more of em’?’’ one asked in a gasping voice.
’‘Odin’s beard! And to think we came to a cook off!’’ another exclaimed.

Neeko, cunning as can be, smirked and thought of a way to take advantage of the situation.

‘‘Only so many for the few that would be worthy of them.’’ he explained with a devilish smile on his face.

‘‘Worthy of em’?! How do we…’’

And so a competition started between the guests, with bets already being made and collected by Neeko.


The Inn keeper were not dumb and started to take bets on the competitions, while smiling at Neeko
"Now i dont like to admit defeat but it seems you might have won this one young kleriel" he said while laughing abit


After the event, Neeko retired to his room. Bursting with pride from his victory and satisfied with his spoils, he immediately began writing a letter home to tell his family of progress.

He never did tell anyone how to make bab though, it would be his secret, and as he was sure those who had tried it spread good word of it, and those who did not sobbed in envy, his next step would be to open that Kebab Parlour he dreamed of. As he saw, there were a few buildings for rent here and there around Danheim, most of them too small to house the parlour and his living quarters both, or just too far out of the way to be profitable. He needed a premium building, at a convenient spot, and the only way he could hope to acquire something like that were if he went to see the king, Wesley.

And so he set off to the king of the viking horde’s den, with his satchel of coin, as well as kitchen utensils, in case the king had heard of his bab making skills…


Neeko was making his way across town, getting a few greeting here and there, even a few nods from other Kleriels however when he made it to the Ribe cage of a massive whale leading into the mountain, from where the king lives and rules he were stopped by some guards “Hold who goes there and why do you seek to enter”


Coming to a stop before the buff and heavily armoured guard, he swallowed heavily while feeling a tad intimidated, and explained.

‘‘Oh yeah, um… i need, um… that is, i came to request, um… a deed for a snazzy building to open a kebab parlour in from um, … the king!’’


" Then you have to wait till Friday, thats the day the king deals with such matters, and you wont enter the great hall until then" the guard said